Evil Genius helpdesk humour
"We care a lot"
What if driving a car was as hard as using a computer?

Operator: "AA helpdesk, Dave speaking."

Customer: "I can't back out of my garage."

Operator: "Is that because the garage door is closed, or because your car engine isn't turned on?"

Customer: "All I know is I could back out of my garage yesterday, and now I can't."

Operator: "Are you in your car at the moment?"

Customer: "Yes."

Operator: "Okay, I'd like you to turn around and look through your car's back window for me. What do you see?"

Customer: "Grey."

Operator: "Grey like clouds, or like a garage door?"

Customer: "Like a door."

Operator: "It sounds like your garage door is closed. You'll just need to open it, and you'll be able to back out."

Customer: "Look, I don't understand any of this automotive stuff. I just want to drive my car."

Operator: "Okay, first I'd like you to open your car door."

Customer: "How do I do that?"

Operator: "Look for a catch on the door that you can pull towards you."

Customer: "I found it, but all that's happening is the window's rolling down."

Operator: "That must be the window button. What you need is a catch you can pull, instead of pressing."

Customer: "Okay, I found it. Something went click."

Operator: "Now, push the door open and put your feet on the ground."

Customer: "I pushed the door... what was that second thing you said?

Operator: "Put your feet on the ground."

Customer: "Okay."

Operator: "Now, stand up and walk towards the garage door."

Customer: "Is this far enough?"

Operator: "Are you at the door?"

Customer: "No."

Operator: "Keep walking until you reach the door."

Customer: "Okay, now what?"

Operator: "Pull the handle up."

Customer: "It's moving!"

Operator: "Push it all the way up, then get back in your car."

Customer: "Okay, I'm backing out of the garage now. But how did the door get closed in the first place?"

Operator: "I think someone must have closed it after you drove into the garage last night."

Customer: "That's just not possible, we never do that."

Operator: (Wearily) "Well, garage doors can sometimes close all by themselves."

Customer: "How does that happen?"

Operator: "Gravity."

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