Evil Genius helpdesk humour
"We care a lot"
What if making breakfast was as hard as using a computer?

Operator: "Brown 'N' Crunchy Toaster helpdesk, Bob speaking."

Customer: "Look, I've already spent half an hour on the phone with one of you people earlier and I'm sick of it. Unless you get this toaster working soon I'm getting rid of the damn thing."

Operator: "What seems to be the problem?"

Customer: "I can't cook toast."

Operator: "Is there bread in the toaster at the moment?"

Customer: "I've already been over this with that guy from earlier."

Operator: "Does that mean there's bread in the toaster at the moment?"

Customer: (deep sigh) "Yes, there's bread in the toaster."

Operator: "Have you pressed the catch down at the end of the toaster?"

Customer: "Yes. Look, are you just going to waste my time like that other guy?"

Operator: "I'd like you to put your hand over the top of the toaster."

Customer: "What good is that going to do?"

Operator: "Please just try it."

Customer: "Alright, I'm waving my hand over the toaster. Happy?"

Operator: "Do you feel any heat rising from the toaster?"

Customer: "No, no heat."

Operator: "Okay, it sounds like the toaster isn't cooking. Is the cord plugged into a power socket?"

Customer: "I suppose so. I haven't unplugged it."

Operator: "I'd like you to follow the power cord from the toaster. Does it lead to the socket?"

Customer: "I suppose so."

Operator: "Please follow the cord."

Customer: "Alright, I followed the damn cord!"

Operator: "Is it plugged in?"

Customer: "Yes. Look, I don't think you people realise that I need a nutritious breakfast and I'm not a technical genius. I've got work to do today and --"

Operator: "Is the switch in the 'on' position?"

Customer: "What?"

Operator: "Is the switch on the power socket in the 'on' position?"

Customer: "How would I know that?"

Operator: "Is the switch up, or down?"

Customer: "It's up."

Operator: "Okay, I think the power to the toaster is turned off. You'll need to press the switch into the down position."

Customer: "Alright, I've done it."

Operator: "Is there any heat coming from the toaster now?"

Customer: "How can I tell?"

Operator: "Put your hand over the top of it again."

Customer: "Hey, it is getting warm."

Operator: "Okay, you should be able to toast bread now."

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